Seriously?

School is over? Really? I had great plans to lounge by the pool with my Nook (which, by the way, is the best piece of technology to ever enter my life), but Mother Nature had other ideas. Since when does it storm in the morning? Pool plans postponed.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited that school is over and I'm moving in the Fall, and I don't really know how to answer them. I'm teaching summer school, so I'm not really finished yet, and that's still in the back of my mind, but I guess the biggest feeling I have is anticipation. I'm anxious to begin this new phase of my life, but at the same time, it's a little scary. I feel at once happy to have more time with the people I care most about--and frustrated that these goodbyes are so drawn out. I'm still weeding out stuff...packing up for the move into one, furnished bedroom makes me feel like I'm 18 and headed off to college for the first time again. Those are warm fuzzy memories.

The times, they are a-changin'...but are they changing fast enough?

Finding Myself in the 4th Circle...

It's standardized testing season here in the South. Yay. That's right. Just 26 eighth graders and I (myself? My brain hurts too much for good grammar) in a stuffy room that smells like a skunk crawled up in it and died--for three hours. I decided sometime during the second day of testing that the Rapture could occur and I would never know. Why? Well, for two reasons. First, everyone in the building could leave and I would be oblivious. There's something so unnatural about a silent middle school, and there is literally no one in the halls except the principal and the guidance counselors. I believe there are some hall monitors stationed at strategic locations, but I never see them from my classroom. Once I close my door and the announcement comes on to start the test, it's as silent as the grave. No kids in the hall, no loudspeaker announcements, no one coming to the door wanting something...it's a little freaky. Then I started to think that I might miss the sounding of the celestial trumpet because I was in the 4th circle of hell. Seriously. Have you ever paced a room constantly monitoring students for three straight hours? No sitting. No reading. No grading. Just monitoring. Sometime during the first hour, I felt my IQ begin to drop. I just can't handle the monotony. Honestly, I would really rather take the test myself. At least it would keep my mind occupied...but we're not even allowed to see the test questions, so I can't even read over their shoulders! It's just not worth my teaching certificate to read the questions--I plan on keeping that even if I'm not going to be using it next year! Then I started to wonder who exactly dwells in Dante's 4th circle of hell and decided that I don't spend enough reading quality material if I don't remember that. I could look it up, but I currently lack the motivation.

I'll admit to feeling a little odd about the whole testing situation. It's my last year in public education, most likely, and I've come to realize that, around here, the testing serves no real purpose. It is my professional opinion that the standardized test data should inform instruction, instead of just giving an arbitrary score. The way we test, value added analysis (where we can track a single student's progress from year to year) is mathematically impossible. I think that's one of the most valuable pieces of information a standardized test can give because it allows the teacher to see how the students progress in the course of a year. You still have other factors at play, but it can show some trends in student performance. The other thing I don't get from our state department is an accounting of how my students do by standard. I would be very interested to see which standards my students as a whole aren't on target for, because then I could adjust my instruction to cover these elements more thoroughly. Of course, I don't believe in teaching to a test, but I do see that teachers AND STUDENTS need to be held accountable for a year's learning. The only efficient way I can see to do this is to test everyone. I'm okay with that. What I'm not okay with is comparing last year's 8th grade scores to this year's 8th grade scores. That's like comparing apples to oranges. I'm also not okay with the great mystery behind our test. I get why teachers can't read the test. Sadly, not everyone is ethical. But why can't teachers be allowed to sit for a sample test in all the subject areas they teach? If the kids know what they should know, and I teach what I should teach, why the smoke and mirrors???

That's my rant. I'm done now--and so is standardized testing! I do think it's interesting how my mindset is beginning to shift from seeing just how my individual classroom works to how education in general works--and what doesn't work--and what I can do to enact some positive change. As I start this Ph.D., that's going to be something I need to constantly keep in front of me. Tomorrow is Friday, and we're moving into the end of the school year. I'm a little sad, especially when my babies have adult-like conversations with me about their future, or mine. I love it when they have adult-like conversations. It makes me feel like I've done something positive in their lives when they come to me to talk and share something of themselves.

Starting Out

Well, this is my very first blog post, so I suppose I should explain why it even exists.  I am a middle school English teacher born and bred in the South--in the deep, deep South.  I'll be leaving the land of sweet tea and deep-fried...well, everything....in August and heading north to begin my Ph.D.

It's been quite a year (as a teacher, I tend to see years in terms of school years), and the next five years are going to be an adventure.  I'm hoping to keep my family and friends involved in this process as I move across the country, but I'd also like to open this up to people who I don't yet know.  To that end, I'm planning on keeping this blog anonymous, but I'm anxious to hear any constructive comments!