The end of the semester is quickly approaching, and with it, the end of the school year. I don't feel like I've been the teacher I want to be this semester and I'm not looking forward to reading my course evaluations. My guess is they'll look something like this: "She's pretty nice and all, and I think she probably knows something about writing, but she's kind of a disorganized wreck." I won't be teaching next year, and while I appreciate the opportunities to write I'm going to have, I'm a teacher at heart and I'm not sure how well I'm going to take having no teaching outlet. I'm still working on my papers, and to be honest, I'm feeling totally overwhelmed. One of my classes feels very high stakes, and I've developed quite a mental block about this paper. This is the paper I had to resubmit my proposal four times for. You know, the one where I cried so hard perfect strangers thought I'd just been through a terrible breakup? That one. The good news is that I do, in fact, have something to turn in. It's not done yet, but I've got a working draft. I may actually have something to say, too. At the moment I feel like I'm pushing it with the argument I'm trying to make, but I think it will come together in the end. That's what I'm telling myself at least. I haven't even really started the other paper yet, but my mom is a lifesaver and has gotten me connected to some resources I need to make it happen. I'm looking forward to a week from today, when I can relax a little and reflect properly on the past year. I'll be blogging those reflections--hopefully I will realize something exciting...or maybe just something useful.
In the meantime, the green cup of happiness is waiting on me, and our writing pets are attempting to emerge, fully grown and armed, from their plastic cages. If you happen to walk past the program office and find Liz and I with our heads together...we're taking a vacation. In a cup.
