I have this student. I'll call him Dean. He's a smart kid--witty and engaging. He contributes to class discussions, sometimes with an off-the-wall comment, but always something that turns out to be productive. But I just can't reach him. He's not a good writer, and I'm not entirely sure he's ready for this university, but I've reached more difficult cases before. I've had kids who didn't have his intelligence or personality become successful writers. Last week, I really thought I was making progress. He has turned in several assignments late, and wasn't going to get credit for one of them. I asked him to stay after class, but he left early. So I decided to email him. Four drafts later, I sent the email. He should be glad he didn't see that first draft! It was a little harsh. Heck, the fourth draft was still, shall we say, direct. He just isn't going to pass unless he pulls himself together. He stayed after class the next day and we had a chat. It went really well! He seemed to understand the stakes and why I wasn't pleased with his work so far. I also communicated to him how much I appreciated his contribution to our class. All in all, it was a very positive meeting. He assured me that he was going to make more of an effort, and like a rank amateur, I believed him.
The next week, he turned a final draft in that can only be described as gibberish. I'm not even sure what he was writing about, nor am I sure what assignment he was responding to. It certainly wasn't the one I wrote! It was so off-base that I couldn't even grade it (I've never had this problem before...not even when my high school seniors thought "Hank the Cow Dog" was fine literature). I wrote a note at the top, asking him to revise and resubmit for grading. I'm really upset. He's the kind of kid that isn't motivated by low grades or pep talks, and by the time I figured that out, it was halfway through the semester and he was already not doing well. I was really hoping that this was the paper where I could give him a somewhat higher grade, which might motivate him a little to finish out the semester strong.
He didn't show up to class today.
You know, I thought that teaching college would put some distance between me, my students, and their failures, but it hasn't. I still take it so personally. I teach. They learn. If I teach and they don't learn, was that teaching? Dean is the kind of kid who needs the opportunity education can provide him, and I desperately want him to take advantage of it. I'm without the "troops" I used to deploy as a middle/high school teacher--coaches, parents, principals...I feel like I've thrown him lifeline after lifeline and he'd just rather drown because grabbing hold is just too much effort. I hate it when one of my students chooses to fail. It makes me feel like I've failed.
